tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5425514987715337437.post5518659210447360590..comments2024-03-26T22:47:45.276-07:00Comments on Intro to Critical Reading: BeliefAdamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16302919444091859459noreply@blogger.comBlogger2125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5425514987715337437.post-62610795018763448372011-01-23T21:34:22.545-08:002011-01-23T21:34:22.545-08:00I would have to agree with Adam and say that the s...I would have to agree with Adam and say that the story is summarized too much in your post. I would have liked to hear what you think about Lauren't beliefs. I think it would have been better to talk about whether or not you agree with Lauren's beliefs and what you would believe if you were in her situation.<br /><br />I also think that your post could have been organized a little better. Your thesis seems too vague and I think you could have done a better job of summarizing your ideas at the end.Tom Hoganhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03968195837846256764noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5425514987715337437.post-47087600048792929312011-01-23T11:18:45.230-08:002011-01-23T11:18:45.230-08:00Your first paragraph is weird and awkward - I'...Your first paragraph is weird and awkward - I'm not sure what it's trying to do.<br /><br />I was interested in your choice of verse; to my mind, though, you didn't really <i>do</i> anything with it until the final paragraph, and even the last sentence in it. Curiously, though, I feel like the events you're recounting at the end aren't really a great example of belief which takes action - mostly because the initial "action" (talking to Joann) fails, although it changes into a productive and interesting conversation with her father.<br /><br />Maybe your point of view on that conversation is different from mine. But regardless of your point of view, I don't really know what your point of view <i>is</i>. This essay presents an interesting verse, gives us a little hint of why you think it's interesting, and then mostly gives a list of events in the novel. <br /><br />You don't need to tell us the plot - we already read the novel. You need to make us see something, or feel something, that we hadn't before - which is why you need to <i>apply</i> your verse to the novel in an interesting way, not summarize the material around it, which is mostly what you're doing.Adamhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16302919444091859459noreply@blogger.com